传说中最性感的英语

阿甘童鞋主演的说句心里话，还有众多的彪悍标识语翻译让我们彻底领悟了中国式英语(Chinglish) 的巨大魅力，并成功地被雷的外焦里嫩。除了具有强烈民族特色的Chinglish，下面这段视频，暂且称为“一个意大利男人不得不说的故事”，向我们讲述了由一场英语引发的冏人冏事。很久以前看过，也是唯一一个让我看了7遍以上的视频，今天看完那些个不CJ的小P孩儿的法克鱿想到了这段传说中最性感的英语，喝水者远离水杯，吃饭者闭紧牙关，然后开始8。

One day I'm gonna to Malta to a big hotel. In a morning, I go down to eat breakfast. I tell the waitress I wanna 2 pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her I want to(two) piece. She says go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I want 'two' 'piece' on the my plate. She says you better not piss on the plate you son of a bitch . I don't even know the lady and she calling me son of a 'beach'.
 

Later I go to eat at a bigger restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fork. I tell I want  the 'fuck'. She tell me everyony wanna 'fuck' . I tell you no understand, I wann a fork on the table. She say you better not fuck on the table, you son of a 'beach'. 

So I go back to my home ina hotel. And there is no sheets on the bed. Call the manager, I'm tell him, I wann a 'sheet'. He tells me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand I wanna a 'sheet' on my bed. He say you better not 'sheet' on the bed, you son of a 'beach'.
　　

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say " piss (peace) on you" and I say "piss on you, too, you son of a 'beach'". I'm gonna back to Italy.